The Bank of Mum and Dad – How to gift efficiently

Author: Michelle Holgate

More than half of all first-time buyers in Britain (52%) couldn’t get onto the property ladder without financial support from their parents in 2024.¹ The average contribution was £55,572 and, collectively, parents and grandparents paid out £9.6 billion in 2024 alone.²

Step back further, and the scale becomes striking: over the past four years, the Bank of Mum and Dad has provided £38.5 billion in assistance – 71% more than the four years before it, as tighter mortgage conditions and higher rates have made home ownership increasingly difficult for younger generations.³

With the great wealth transfer underway and approximately £7 trillion expected to move down the generations over the next 30 years, the Bank of Mum and Dad is entering a new era.⁴

Rising inheritance tax (IHT) bills, the soaring cost of living, and an uphill struggle for younger people to achieve financial independence all mean that many parents and grandparents are thinking seriously about when and how to accelerate passing wealth down.

But giving well requires preparation. With your own retirement to consider, inflation to account for and potential care costs to factor in, it isn’t as straightforward as a bank transfer. Sitting down with a wealth manager to create or refine a wealth plan will allow you to give confidently to your children or grandchildren without compromising your own future.

Know what you can afford first

The first thing to do before you start gifting is to get a clear picture of your own finances.

“You should build a storyboard of what you want your future to look like and the associated costs, such as holidays or retirement,” says Michelle Holgate, Director – Wealth Manager at RBC Brewin Dolphin.

Your wealth manager can then help with cashflow modelling, factoring in inflation, portfolio returns, care costs and life expectancy to show how much you can afford to give away.

The modelling is also stress tested against market crashes or higher than expected inflation so you can be confident your own needs are covered even if the unexpected happens.

“You must be certain you can afford to part with a gift, because once a gift is given it’s gone,” says Holgate.

Once you know what you can comfortably afford, it’s worth sitting down with your family to understand their needs and consider what you’re most comfortable giving. Do you want to give a lump sum, or would you prefer to help with a specific issue such as a house deposit, school fees or childcare costs? Many parents are understandably cautious about giving too much too soon and the impact it might have on their children’s drive and ambition.

Having your wealth manager present can help keep the conversation focused and constructive. And if the family dynamic makes a direct conversation difficult, a trust with a letter of wishes can set out your intentions and preferences clearly, without requiring everything to be resolved in one sitting.

How to gift tax-efficiently

Once you know how much you want to gift, and what you can afford to give away, the next thing is to consider how to do it tax-efficiently. Frozen allowances combined with rising wealth and asset values mean more families are facing IHT bills. With careful wealth planning and consultation with a tax adviser, you can minimise any potential bills and make your generosity go further.

Everyone can gift up to £3,000 a year without any IHT implications. On top of that, you can make unlimited gifts of up to £250 per person – as long as that money doesn’t go to the same people who benefited from the £3,000 allowance.

Beyond that, one of the most tax-efficient approaches is making regular gifts from your surplus income. Provided this doesn’t impact your standard of living, they fall outside your estate immediately, with no seven-year waiting period.

“If somebody decides to give away £50,000, then they have to survive seven years after making that gift for it to sit outside of their estate for inheritance tax purposes,” says Holgate. “Whereas if they’d got £10,000 a year of excess income, they could have given that £50,000 over five years and there would be no seven-year term to serve.”

Keeping track of your gifts is also important. “I highly recommend clients use the IHT 403 form to document gifts as they go,” says Holgate. “It makes it easier for family to prove the nature of the gifts to HMRC later.”

Making gifts fair and protected

“Being fair isn’t always being equal – it’s about what’s equitable,” says Holgate.

If you have multiple children and grandchildren all at different life stages, giving a lump sum to each at the same time may not reflect their actual needs. For example, one might be ready to buy a house while another is still in school.

A discretionary trust can offer a practical solution. “You might put £300,000 in a bond investment structure with many segments,” says Holgate. “This allows you to give segments to people when they need it – for a house, for example – while the rest can continue to grow.”

They all get an even split of the initial amount, but depending on when it’s accessed it may have grown, which can help with inflation and the cost of living if one person gets their money a decade after another.

You may also want to consider how you’re going to protect the money you’re giving away. If a child or grandchild is in a new relationship, a gift that’s helped fund a home could be at risk if that relationship breaks down.

“One uncomfortable but necessary topic is protecting money from leaving the family,” says Holgate. Prenuptial, cohabitation and postnuptial agreements – drawn up by a solicitor – can set out clearly what happens to gifted assets if a couple separates. “It’s often easier for an adviser to bring these up than it is for a parent.”

The gift of confidence

Done well, the Bank of Mum and Dad can be one of the most meaningful things you do with your wealth. Seeing a child buy their first home, a grandchild start out in life with real financial confidence, or a family concern lifted – that’s what years of careful planning makes possible.

With life forever changing this isn’t a plan you make once. You should revisit it over the years. “Planning doesn’t have to be done in a day,” says Holgate. “As your life evolves, your planning can too.”

The key is knowing exactly where you stand before you start, so the giving is confident, considered, and entirely on your own terms. That’s where a conversation with your wealth manager begins.

---

About the author

Michelle Holgate

Director, Wealth Manager

Michelle has nearly 20 years’ experience specialising in providing financial advice on inheritance tax planning, pensions, investments and trusts to high net worth clients across the UK.

Michelle is a driven people leader with a strong focus on outstanding client and employee experience. She joined RBC Brewin Dolphin from Investec where she was Co-Head of Wealth Advisory for the UK business. She is passionate about creating a diverse and inclusive company culture as a critical foundation.

---

¹Savills, May 2025

²Savills, May 2025

³Savills, May 2025

⁴Unbiased, Dec 2025

---

---